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Suzanne White's avatar

Some years ago a friend of mine gasped in horror when I referred to something or someone as ‘oriental’. (Don’t remember which) I was completely taken by surprise because to me there was no negative connotation to the term. I was momentarily offended by my friend throwing her moral baggage at me because her tone and body language were so accusatory. However she was a particularly dear friend and I quickly flipped into a realization that it was the vibes from her attitude that stung. I immediately felt grateful to be able to understand the hurtful feeling that blossoms when you feel under attack for political incorrectness. Because I was brought up to actually enjoy making others feel comfortable, I had never experienced such a distrustful negative reaction and had thought that being upset for being accused of being politically incorrect is so inconsequential as to be silly. Now I think that being accused of incivility strikes at a deep seated fear of being ostracized, which we all know was like a death sentence in ancient times.

Our world is so much in flux that there is a sense of instability and lack of safety. So much, so fast, so in your face as to be unavoidable. I think it has sent us scurrying in search of whatever community can seem to offer acceptance and safety. We are all on heightened alert for being offended. And personally I have learned that being offended is like inviting a little troll on board in your life. I have decided that turning the other cheek means letting offensive reactions flow right off you without incorporating any hurt into your life.

That can sound difficult but once you fully realize that incubating negativity feels uncomfortable in the soil of your being a desire grows to never let it in.

I regret to say that I think there are intuitive clever marketers out there who have learned to make money off our fears and sensitivities. We are human but still animals and there will always be predators looking to take advantage. So I suppose that the only defense is to choose not to take offense unless you are actually in danger.

Helen Pluckrose's avatar

Bravo, Mike. Outstanding piece. I shall cross-post it.

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